Mayweather KOs Big Show In Hilarious Bout
By Chris Stein: In one of the silliest wrestling matches I’ve ever seen, Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeated professional wrestler “Big Show” last night at the Citrus bowl in the WrestleMania XXIV match. Mayweather, not a particularly good actor, looked especially fake in going up against the 7-foot 441 lb Big Show, though he did at least scream and moan in a half-way believable manner. After spending a good deal of the opening moments running from Big Show, and looking a lot like his normal boxing fights, Mayweather finally opened up with a series of jabs that got Big Show to back off from him.
As if in celebration, Mayweather turned around and began to drink from a gold chalice given to him by one of his handlers on the side of the ring. At this moment, an enraged Big Show ran across the ring and tagged Mayweather’s handler with an elbow, knocking him backwards onto the floor outside of the ring, spilling the chalice and drink all over the floor. Big Show then attempted to stomp Mayweather’s hand, which I suppose was a move planned out because of all the fear about Mayweather potentially being hurt in the ring and possibly destroying his boxing career as a result. Big Show missed the stomp, naturally, as Mayweather escaped in the nick of time to save his hand from a terrible fate.
Big Show, not letting Mayweather escape, then picked him up and was poised to throw him out of the ring, but Mayweather landed a short right hand and then put on a rear chock hold on Big Show. This went on for close to a minute, with Big Show’s face turning a dark red, and sinking to his knees as if to pass out. However, somehow Big Show grabbed the back of Mayweather’s head and flipped him over on his back like a sack of potatos. He then proceeded to stomp Mayweather’s left hand, causing him to roll around the ring, crying and moaning in pain.
Meanwhile, Mayweather’s advisor, Leonard Ellerbe began to repeatedly say, “You can’t be doing that. You can’t be doing that.” Big Show then grabbed Mayweather off the canvas and picked him up and held him over his head by his throat, and turned around to the audience and whispered from them to be quiet. Big Show then landed a right hand chop to Mayweather’s neck, sending him falling down and rolling around on the canvas, screeching and moaning. It was totally hilarious to watch, because Mayweather was really getting into the crying part of it, much more than I typically see of wrestlers.
Ellerbe continued with the chorus of “You can’t do that,” hoping that he could get Big Show to heed his advice and fight Mayweather fair. At this point, Mayweather began begging Big Show to not him anymore. However, it had no effect on Big Show, who promptly stepped on Mayweather’s back and stood on him, as if the crush him with his 441 lbs. This had the effect of causing Mayweather to scream and cry even more, while his adviser Ellerbe changed his tune to “You can’t be standing on his back.” Mayweather then responded with two kicks to the gut of Big Show. However, this did little as Big Show then picked him up and then dropped him with a “side slam” to the canvas.
Then, while Mayweather was flat on his back, Big Show landed on him with an arm drop, hurting Mayweather’s left arm. Big Show then, once again, stood on top of Mayweather, this time on his stomach. After getting up, Big Show head butted Mayweather, sending him down once again. Just when he was going to punish Mayweather more, his handlers removed him from the ring and began to walk him out of the arena. Thinking that it was over, five of Mayweather’s handlers didn’t see Big Show creeping up behind them.
Once he was upon them, Big Show easily peeled them off one at a time, knocking them to the ground and throwing one of them against a near by fence. In each case, they were flattened like bugs. Once all of the handlers were out of the way, Big Show grabbed Mayweather by the neck and walked him back into the ring as if he was holding his girl. The whole time, Mayweather was sticking out his tongue and crying from pain while Big Show calmly walked him to the ring. Once he was back in the ring, Big Show landed a right chop to one of Mayweather’s handlers, who had been stupid enough to try and save him, and then kneed him in the stomach.
Just when it was getting good, Mayweather got a hold of a chair and hit Big Show with it several times, and added a couple of kicks to the groin for good measure. While Big Show was still on one knee and still trying to recover from getting hit with the chair, Mayweather ran over to his handler and removed a brass knuckle medallion off his neck. With the brass knuckles in hand, Mayweather speedily crossed the ring and landed a right to the jaw of Big Show, knocking him out temporarily. The referee then counted him out as he wearily began to waken from the knockout.
Overall it was more entertaining than I had expected, but mostly because of Mayweather’s crying and the beating he suffered at the hands of Big Show. It was also fun to watch Big Show beating up on Mayweather’s entourage, throwing them around like flies as they attempted rescuing him at various times in the fight. Perhaps more than anything, that was even more entertaining than watching Mayweather get thrashed by Big Show.